The Oak Leaves

2012-02-09T15:09:00.000-05:00

WHO AM I PERFORMING FOR?

I've struggled my whole life with people

With relationships, friends, acquaintances, and strangers

But for what

Why does it matter if I make myself a fool

Perhaps a fool is what i'm meant to be

Why does it matter if I lack eloquence?

Why does everyone need me all the time

Why cant my time be my own

Sometimes (most times) What id really like is shut you all out

But at the same time try to pull you close

Its mind boggling

I know that every one of us struggles with this to some degree

But I have a serious, yet unjustifiable, and, whats worse, constant fear of others

I am not afraid of the woods

Or its creatures

Of creating

Or of my own mind

In fact I very much like who I am

So why do I feel the need for others to agree?

I've never really been able to keep friends

Not that they don't try,

but eventually my shyness will drive even the most determined contenders away

Its my plague

Oh well

I'm not even feeling particularly down about it today,

Just what was on my mind,

Is all...

2012-01-30T13:16:00.000-05:00

{THINGS ARE GREENING UP AROUND HERE LATELY}

The bulbs are peeking

And Hellebores blooming

I need to get out there with the camera

But things have just been so hectic

Hopefully soon Ill be out there

digging everything up for the move

How are your gardens looking?

2012-01-17T23:55:00.001-05:00

(1858 detached kitchen with view of green barn)

Here is an awful photo

From the listing

Of the house

That

Our offer was just accepted on!

So, there are still inspections and actual loan gettings to be got, but we're one step closer than we were yesterday. And despite all that, I am still pregnant, and therefore, still grumpy. Not because Im pregnant, but because I am pregnant. Does that make since? Yep, so im feeling more than a bit crazy as well.... So, im really trying just not to think. Im sure thats the answer!

2012-01-17T13:33:00.002-05:00

Seven's on the left

With little Sparrow under foot

This was 5 years, or so, ago

Sparrow is no longer little and Seven still hates him

In fact, we rarely see Seven, as i'm sure he has multiple homes...

He comes and goes as he pleases

Though i wish he'd just stay put!

There is so much going on this year that my heads been spinnin'. I try to put things out of my mind and just let what will happen, happen. But its so hard to do. Seems our housing situation has changed every time i turn around. We've been determined to move someplace with more land for quite some time now. And situations just kept presenting themselves to us and then, usually at the last minute, completely falling through. First there was the 22 acres in Locust grove, then the more than dream worthy Bickers farm, then the 9 acres with a pond... None of them working out in the end. So here we are on Oak street. But, unwilling to give up that easily, we have made an offer on 2 acres near the blue ridge mountains. No where near the amount of land we were after, but perhaps there's one more stepping stone we have to cross before reaching our forever home. We will hear back on that late this week. Hopefully. As I said, I've kind of quit my mind of it, because its all getting to much to handle...

And, on top of that- I AM PREGNANT.

And its making me entirely crazy!

More on that later

...

2012-01-01T14:24:00.002-05:00

garden from tiger in a jar on Vimeo.

I liked the trench watering system in this video...

So here's whats happening

with us at the moment

(at least one of the things)

We are moving to 9 acres

With an acre or so of ponds

And a little yellow house

with a wood stove

(I've mentioned this before)

There are tremendous amounts of junk to overcome first

We spent the day working on that with my family

There's so much more to do

But there is potential for greatness

All other house plans are still up in the air

Which is frustrating

But Im holding out hope

2011-12-17T14:02:00.004-05:00

Source: flickr.com via Chrisi on Pinterest

I love these colors
Been thinking about that house
Cant stop

Planning the garden
Fences
Paint

I want it

2011-12-15T13:39:00.001-05:00

{ANOTHER ANGLE}

(with the well)

we find out in four days if we are moving here

2011-12-10T20:11:00.003-05:00

If you wish upon a star

{Dream worthy things may be happening}

2011-11-25T11:05:00.001-05:00

{20% OFF SALE}

(In my shop)
Today only!
***

Coupon code: THESEDAYS

2011-11-24T20:38:00.005-05:00

Source: flickr.com via Chrisi on Pinterest

This ladies potager blows my mind

I recommend looking through her photos
I just spent a good hour there

***

2011-11-23T13:58:00.005-05:00

Source: sfgirlbybay.com via Chrisi on Pinterest

Do you think you can actually grow columbines indoors?

If so I need to go dig up my seedlings before they fall to the frost!

2011-11-22T10:56:00.003-05:00

On The Anatomy Of Thrift: Side Butchery from farmrun on Vimeo.

Am I wrong to wish

They'd shown how to humanely kill

And then gut the animal first?

2011-11-21T18:11:00.001-05:00

{PTERIDOPHYTA}

(my favorite or favorites)

What's yers?

2011-11-17T16:31:00.002-05:00

My MAYBE new and temporary front yard

...It looks like fall

2011-11-17T02:05:00.002-05:00

{ GELB }

We are thinking about moving to a yellow house

Temporarily
____

While we work out our dreams

It has a wood stove

And stacks of kindling on the porch

Land to grow, trees to shade, and ponds to paddle

It also has a lot of junk

Perhaps we can overcome this

though

I'm so weary of doing for others, for money, and for things

I would like to sit on the old truck seat down by the water and enjoy the lily pads

Lay some new beds with trees where no one can see

and let the dog run

My mind id weary

2011-11-11T16:38:00.002-05:00

{The Love}

I like it

2011-11-10T20:56:00.002-05:00

There's No Place Like Here: Liberty Tool from Etsy on Vimeo.

{HAND TOOLS}

For the love of 'em

(Thanks Eva)

2011-11-09T13:16:00.005-05:00

Source: vi.sualize.us via Chrisi on Pinterest

{FERNS}

These are actual ferns
But its the exact thing
I want as tattoos

2011-11-09T11:43:00.001-05:00

I keep trying to remind myself that i'm not meant to be an artist anyways
I am meant to be a farmer
All of this is just a stepping stone

2011-11-07T14:36:00.005-05:00

{WINTERGREEN}
Chimaphila maculata

***

Not a great day
Shouldering disappointments
That keep piling up

Wish I could be laying in the leaves
Staring up at the trees

But there is a roast in the oven
And always work to do

2011-11-06T11:15:00.003-05:00

SKYWARD REACHING

(mold along with yellow fungi?)

***

My room is emptying out before my eyes

And I delight

I like bare bones

I've been lost in books as of late

Blurring the lines of reality

Learning things about myself

I maybe

didn't want to know

We'll see

2011-11-04T12:48:00.001-04:00

Really windy today

There are things to do

But my mind, as usual, wanders

Back to the woods

Something is happening

Something numbing

I seem to be no longer afraid of certain things

The unfortunate result of which seems to be the fueling of procrastination
A lack of preperation

I need to prepare myself for the show in Pittsburgh

But I am faltering

2011-11-03T15:56:00.002-04:00

ENTER HERE

(drawing 11.15.11)

***

2011-11-03T15:09:00.005-04:00

ICARUS IN THE BRACKEN

(wishing we could be there today)

But, alas, I must work sometime

Only when I am a farmer will my work become my play

***

2011-11-02T20:50:00.002-04:00

IN THE WOODS

(strange things)

***

We've been spending a lot of time lately, in my most favorite of places.

Taking walks in the rain with the dog

And the dripping, and the fog

***

2011-10-30T11:47:00.004-04:00

HILARIOUS
***

2011-10-25T13:29:00.002-04:00

ICARUS WONT CEASE HIS BARKING

(is there something there?)

The curtains are drawn

And I no longer know what time it is

The blankets are twisted and you are long gone

But the pantry is full

So I will cook

And await your return

***

(here is something nice to fill you)

2011-10-18T15:41:00.002-04:00

BREAKFAST

(Quinoa with berries)

***

...Yep, tryin new things
And enjoying the last rose of the season
carrying it room to room

2011-10-08T00:27:00.000-04:00

COYOTE

(our favorite image)

by: Ryan Mcginley

***

2011-09-28T00:10:00.000-04:00

LASAGNA

(for dinner)

***

2011-09-27T12:56:00.002-04:00

My aim was to darn...

But since no such socks were handy

(or clean)

I have worked on a vintage quilt

instead

***

2011-09-26T13:50:00.001-04:00

"Some times progress is not reflected in quality"

(I needed someone to tell me it was OK)

Today I'm in tears

I've been swallowed up

In disappointments

Defeated

2011-09-22T16:56:00.001-04:00

EXPERIMENTING

(not sure what I think yet)

****

But i know I want to etch

A farmhouse

A log cabin

Cladonia

Mushrooms

Trees

Botanicals

Text

...

I also cant decide whether the main body should be left white, crackle, gray, brown, green?

2011-09-22T11:23:00.002-04:00

FOXGLOVES

(Digitalis really)

***

I've fallen in love with this painting by SwanBones...

Im such a fan of a rich black background

And Tenebrism in general

2011-09-20T21:39:00.000-04:00

A LILLIPUTIAN CITY

(in a slanted sort of golden afternoon sun)

***

I found a sort of peace today.

A peace i hope i can hang on to... Something about the autumn, it renews me...

I feel hopeful.

2011-09-17T21:17:00.070-04:00

This is what I want

I've been stumbling
Through life
Trying to sort out what it is that I want
Each time I make a change
I find I haven't near made it yet
Because I've only so far taken small steps
Not that I'm afraid to leap
But mainly because I could never afford to

READ ON (im trying out page breaks)

I've wanted to live off the land
Well, as far back as I can remember i suppose
But One thing or another always stood in my way
Small things and large

Land ain't cheap to start with
And I've never had money

Until I found Stephen
I was never with anyone who'd want it anyhow
Much less want to live without every modern convenience
But I believe there's a balance 'can be struck

For us it'll be farming spring to fall
And making and selling our wares all winter

There's electricity to contend with
Neither that nor the means to collect it myself are free
Of course I intend to achieve wind/solar/water power eventually
That's certainly on my list

I'd like to chop my own firewood
And heat my house by those means
Lessening my need for income

Ill open the windows at night and close them tight all day
Covered with heavy drapes to keep in the cool nights air

My water will come from streams and wells
No more city water bills for me

I'll grow my fruits, vegetables, and grains
Raise my own cattle, hogs, goats, and chickens
Hunt for deer, rabbits, and squirrels
And make my bread from a mother
Of sour dough

Then Ill save my seed
And this is how I'll eat

Ill collect the ashes
And from those make my soap
And fertilize the tomatoes

Ill make our furniture and buildings
From the trees and collect my honey from the bees

The animals will eat grass, hay, and oats
Ive grown in the fields

And the gifts I give
Will be made by my own two hands
Not bought in a store

And nary a chemical
Will ever fall from those hands to the ground
Instead Ill broadcast compost and manure
And the flowers, as a result, will grow tall

I think about it ceaselessly
Yet I am still not there
I am depressed but
Still hopeful

This world is trying to swallow me up
But I'm determined to resist its call

2011-09-16T18:04:00.000-04:00

NECKLACES

(sort of self explanatory)

***

2011-09-16T12:07:00.005-04:00

SEVEN

(my helper)

I always wanted an orange cat.
This one just happens to be the best of the best.
He is floppy and lazy and pays little attention to whats going on around him.
Takes endless abuse from kids (and the dog)
Just an all around laid back kind of guy...

2011-09-15T10:45:00.000-04:00

HARD AT WORK

(trying to get ready for Crafty Bastards, Oct 1st in DC)

***

2011-09-13T10:18:00.000-04:00

PHILLIP'S CASTLE

(we built it together, and Chelsea promptly knocked it down)

***

2011-09-08T14:48:00.003-04:00

OUR ELMWOOD

(as the folder of photos has been named)

...after this most lovely of places

I'm anxiously waiting, and refusing to give it a name until I know it is, without a doubt, ours. Although as of this instant its still far from it. I've got the kindest team of friends working towards that very goal, though.... The thing is, Tom doesn't even know me. I mean, we've met. But only twice. I suppose its only out of a deep love for his new bride (and my lifelong best friend) and perhaps just out of the kindness of his heart, that he endeavors to help us obtain our dreams. But regardless of his reasons, I will be forever thankful to him for any and all efforts put forward on our behalf.

As for the farm itself... It is by no means perfect.... (yet). But as a born and raised optimist and do it your selfer, I'm pretty certain we can quickly obtain greatness. The potential is undeniable (at least to us), which is all that really matters in the long run anyhow. Here is what I'd be working with. An old house built in 1880 with foundations of native stone, and I suspect wood from the land cleared to build it. Hovering precariously over head is a mighty old oak at least three times as old!!! We all know of my most sincere love for any and all trees, but in particular the Oaks... There is also a small guest house that would eventually serve as our studio, a three stall lean to type of rustic barn, a big old walnut tree with several of it offspring growing nearby, a curved driveway to line with forest pansy red buds, and 22 acres of land half in grass and half in forest. I wont even get into the hurdles, because the potential, at least for me, dwarfs them completely.

The ever beautiful Sarah (the best friend) has jokingly offered to gift us our first cow from their nearby cattle farm (she'd better know not to joke like that unless she wants to be taken up on the offer). As i fully intend to raise a few heads of cattle, along with chickens, guinea fowl, goats, and pigs. We will also be striving for complete self sufficiency. Obviously this is quite a lofty goal, but one ill always look towards. We hope to provide a 20 person CSA within 5-7 years time from our gardens of only heirloom varieties.

We dream of planting small orchards, with berry patches and an apiary.

Boy, wouldn't life just be grand.

Lets hope the good wills of Tom, farm credit, and our good intentions favor us in this endeavor!

(PS I realize i said i wouldn't be back for a while but apparently i was wrong, huh?)

2011-09-02T15:22:00.000-04:00

I NEED A BREAK

(even though it seems like ive already been taking one)

I spend far too much of my time on the internet

And I know i cannot trust myself to just stop

So I deactivated Facebook, Pinterest, and a million other time wasters.

I certainly appreciate you guys

And I will eventually be back

But for now

GOODBYE!

2011-08-30T23:22:00.003-04:00

I LIKE IT
(makes me want to go places)

2011-08-27T21:52:00.000-04:00

LITTLE SPARROW

(in the garden)

2011-08-21T21:56:00.000-04:00

THE SAD STATE OF THINGS

Is that fewer and fewer of us have any respect for one another,

***

Ive had numerous run ins with copy cats

And youve all heard me whine about it here

It breaks my heart every time I see it

STORY

2011-08-11T13:37:00.000-04:00

Some gifts i received from a far away friend

You know who you are,

Thanks!

2011-07-31T11:33:00.002-04:00

Looky here

Good music

And a handsome man,

to boot...

2011-07-24T17:00:00.002-04:00

From just out my back door

This morning

Oh, and i'm considering making this a photography only blog... what do you think?

2011-07-22T19:29:00.000-04:00

earlier in the year I started another blog

It was supposed to hold me accountable

For my actions regarding a certain goal

(to reteach myself to draw)

But in this task it has failed

So now I have made a decision

To write in it that blog

Not like I do here

Where im under the impression

That everything has to be

pretty

Im just going to write about my days

Not poetically

Likely without nice photos

Just me

And you can visit if you like

Thats all

2011-07-19T20:40:00.002-04:00

If we have dreams

We should go and get them

And not pay any mind to those who want to scoff

I keep telling myself this

While at times of great anxiety i do so desperately believe i want the approval of others... in my calmer moments I realize I don't. I wouldn't mind it, have you... But I in no way require it. I want to throw all my worldly powers toward getting there throughout this year. To my dream of dreams, that is. I want to be on 50 acres or more of my own land by late summer of 2012. Can i do it? who knows. But im going to act like i can and hope with all my might.... There are many pieces to this puzzle that all need to fall into place neatly if im to get to my end. I must do everything to facilitate this....

I struggle to keep all else in mind.

"I CAN DO ANYTHING, I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!"

2011-07-17T14:26:00.003-04:00

This woke me up,

Made me feel good

...

2011-07-14T12:44:00.008-04:00

I DO SO HATE SUMMER

With its crippling heat, a blanket of humidity

Wilting leaves

And parched grassy lawn

Crisp beneath my feet

Your thunder storms can not redeem you

Give me Winter
Give me ice !

2011-07-08T22:00:00.002-04:00

AND THE WINNER IS

HANNA!

(please email me your address at

chrisithegreat@yahoo.com)

2011-07-08T17:31:00.003-04:00

Source: hottiesfromhistory.tumblr.com via Leah on Pinterest

Just something handsome to look at

Ill announce the giveaway

Once Stephen returns from the nursery

To draw a winner

(random number generators are just no fun at all)

2011-07-07T10:54:00.005-04:00

REMINDER!

(Last day to enter the giveaway!)

... a whole shelf city

this time!

You know, these things still make me smile...

2011-07-05T12:35:00.004-04:00

YESTERDAY

(whilst I lay in the bath)

When I need to think, and often just because, I take a bath... Yesterday being the fourth of July, I was carefully considering whether or not to spend time watching fireworks with Stephens family. But mainly I was focused on why we celebrate this holiday.... and also if people are actually celebrating our freedom or just fireworks and hot dogs? Of that I cant be sure, but I know where my inclinations tend...

So laying in that hot murky water, as I often do, I prepared a speech for my family... One about why we are celebrating and why we should remember just how free we are, not just today, but every day of year. These things we take for granted are things millions of others can only dream of... While I can take a bath to relax and mull things over, others wash in buckets of filthy water... They are not free, they are persecuted, famished, uneducated, and scared.... I (and we) have to be more conscious of these things. Oh, and also act accordingly.

These are things I hope to change about myself. And I hope everyone else might change along with me. I frustrate myself, because no speech will ever be given to my family, nor any one else for that matter... I wish I could be a catalyst for change, but instead I cower before others. I mean, these things tend to piss people off a bit. No one likes to be told they are making bad decisions.

BUT HEY, WE ARE MAKING SOME REALLY BAD DECISIONS...

2011-07-01T19:10:00.001-04:00

My Daddy stopped by

And squashed some squash bugs with me

(It was an impromptu kind of killing)

***

2011-06-30T10:55:00.009-04:00

(I walked out the door without my camera this morning

so here is an old photo of some wintery Virginia woods,

Even though I am well aware it is clearly summer
And the view in no way reflects what im about to say)

A crow

Alerting my arrival

I meander

Draped in the wrecked nights work of spiders

Emerging, once more, into the sunlight

On a field long hidden away, I am born again

Experiencing light for the first time

Before plunging

Back into the darkness

2011-06-29T13:51:00.000-04:00

WEEDING DAY

(today)

Out in the front yard

pulling weeds and tending to things

Enduring the humidity

We have here in Virginia

In the summer

2011-06-28T18:06:00.003-04:00

RECENTLY

(we found a place)

We kayaked into Mott's Run, where we've both been a thousand times before. As we both grew up around here, and played in these woods... "Under the trees?" So, under and then beyond we went. The dear ran away when we passed. Our boats skimmed the creek stones. We found another turtle shell for hanging above the piano with the rest... And as is usual, I ran off down the dwindling stream leaving Stephen with the boats. I'll have to come back another day... to be alone with the woods.

PS thats me in my straw hat on the right

But right now

The sky has just grown dark

And the clouds have opened up

I'd better go enjoy

The thunder

***

2011-06-26T17:05:00.006-04:00

...

2011-06-26T12:15:00.000-04:00

I just cant tell how I feel about the colors...

What do you all think?

2011-06-24T16:12:00.013-04:00

SHELF CITY SALE
(includes Shelf City sets of twelve only!)

(The Oak Leaves)

SALE ENDS JULY 8TH

Blog readers get 25% off

With coupon code:

SUMMERCITY

***

And Also

A GIVE AWAY
GIVE AWAY No. 3

Shelf city No.285

***